Friday, August 8, 2014

A Life Turnover

I am not going to lie but it is so true that as we grow older, we experience more ,sometimes we fail but we learn more. 

I am the last child of the family. 
When I was younger, I tend to treat most things like bleh... don't give a damn about many things (eg grades, work, personal duties ) unless I am up for it, passionate about it, being pushed to or just to fulfil ' them '. I am proud enough to say that I am not rebellious and I usually am responsible in the things I do. ( Except certain things .. really depending on the situation lol ) Well calculating from the percentage view, maybe 70% I've done well.. lol ( that is not bad already okay for a growing young teenager ) I could say that some of my supposed to be independent stuffs are usually taken care of by my parents. I am not spoiled but because I am just young duh...  Don't judge me because I've seen worst. lol 

Getting out of high school was a turnaround for me. Not exactly right away but it took about half a year plus. I've learn so much during my first semester. Not exactly through my subjects but the people I deal with. My dad especially, I have encountered 101 lectures from him (probably more lectured than my lecturer's ever gave ) for not being as independent as I should be now at this age and of course, dealing with other humans. 

After my finals vice versa my 2 beautiful months of sem break, I am absolutely positive that was the one big turnaround I had recently. God knows how in the world , maybe hormones or whatever I don't know I just left all the childishness in me behind as memories and promise myself to never repeat them again. My mindset wasn't the only thing that changed but also my whole sense of style. I am very sure that I dyed my hair pink before this outbreak lol. 

I started clipping up my hair and started living without the cutesy little girl bangs. (Partially was because this pink hair really doesn't suit bangs much ) I also started changing my style of dressing , in the sense that I avoid wearing lala little girl clothes. And yes, trying to loose weight but just got fit and gained muscles .. lol . 

Come to think of it, I think the whole turn over started after a week when I dyed my pink hair.

Anyway, I started looking towards my future more than ever. I'm not talking about my studies and career only but also in relationship wise and decisions making. So many things inspired me to be more responsible in my own life. All the life events, news, testimonies and just casual talks with my youths and pastors really impacted me for a change.

In relationship wise, my dad once told me ( Okay fine, he just casually told me just a few months ago ) that I should only start getting in any relationship at the age of 21. To be honest 21 doesn't sound pretty nice for today's generations but come to think of it, I actually do not mind. What rush do I have in a need of a  boyfriend? For fame, for status? Obviously No lol. In fact this makes me have more time to search for the Mr Right, at least in 3 more years time. I shall make more friends during this period of time ! : ) * SEMANGAT * 

But seriously, I have no idea in my right mind that the kind of guy I would want to ever be with would ever cross my mind. 

This was it: HE must be financially stable. ( Okay I was .. but not entirely. ) As long as he knows his future, what he aims for, and that his future will be stable and is able to support himself, myself and yada yada
HE should know his priority. He knows what is right and what is wrong. Obviously mature when it comes to serious business. 
HE should have a passion for God. I definitely not implying that he should be the holy, priest, hallelujah kind of guy lol.. As long he loves God and serves Him. Then that is right.
Of course, brownie points to that person who have great sense of humour, romantic, fun, loving, can cook, sing, plays music , sporty, yada yada yada :)

As I mentioned earlier, I really do not think that rushing to be a relationship just for the status purpose or so on is really necessary because if I were ever going to date someone in Uni, and in the end having a LDR because of further studies.. what is really the point actually? You are going to end up breaking up.. or maybe not but you would just feel lonely, cry, missed and end up hurting yourself. You will be meeting new people oversea and who knows you will find someone there as well? Well unless it's what God had plan then of course things will go well even for LDR's . 

At the end of the day, God's hands is the greatest. If he ever lead you to a relationship today, go for it because it is what He planned for you. If it isn't , wait.. because He will give you the best. 

I've started to look at life in a different way. You got to live the fullest and you don't want to just waste that one life because it might end any time, you never know. I've seen and heard quite a lot of incidents in just this few months (from passing away's , bombed planes and missing planes, health problems and so on). It was never pleasing to hear things like this or even experience them.
To be honest 2014 have been a rough year. Take ' The Fault in Our Stars ' for example. Hazel and Gus that lived all their life with sickness. Their life is short but they somehow got to live their little infinity to the fullest. I mean, omg John Green you are so brilliant! * Still Cannot get over how great the story was! * I am in love with the whole concept and story of it and man it really inspired me vice versa taught me many things. * So touched I want to sob * 

Coming back to my topic, I am not saying I am finally 'Perfect'. Guys, people, hello.. we all are not perfect no matter how old you are. I still am lazy, forgetful and un-organize sometimes. We are still humans after all. Our nature still stays within us but of course I will feel guilty and will want to change that lousy attitude of mine.  

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