Insecurity

Dear Dumb Diary, I shouldn't regret . I kind of did regretted, but now I told my self not to. 

So yeah, If you were wondering what I was regretting. My Hair it is. I was so excited on cutting it shorter ( NOT SHORT, the hair stylist made it that short ) because I don't really suit long hair. ): Yeah.  Probably look nice in pictures but It's actually weird /: haha 

So ya, Yesterday went to O Saloon and hair a Rm20 student price cut :) The guy was nice :) But I don't understand why he needs to blow curl my hair to the extreme D: Look at how round and puffy the ends of my hair are! Super bob look O: haha

I kinda miss my long hair already /: No more braids  T^T I ove braids T^T oh well, hair can grow 

* stop feeling depress! * 

I didn't felt sad until someone made me realize that guys prefer long hair. LOL. * wtf right, Why am i sad with this kind of things ?* But ya, for your information, I actually left my hair grow long because of that reason /: Stupid isn't it? But what to do . I have that kind of mind set. LOL 

So anyway, Yesterday my emotions was kind of low. My insecurities was really down too /: In my mind I was like '' omg, nobody gonna like me anymore '' that kind of thing . That's how insecure I am /:

Blerghh, so many people was like WHYYYY... ): I already cut lah. T^T ish.

And yep, I'm gonna just yolo with this length and just hope it'll grow to a perfect length before Prom :3 Hehe. Byee 

Update

Hello Blog! I had lost count on how many days/week/months I had not log onto my blog! I will not be blogging for the next 5-6 months because of my final year in school. It's SPM! and , sigh.. As usual getting a lot of lectures from my parents especially my dad. Anything about studying just annoy the hell out of me. ( most of the time ) Oh well, I'm gonna write this post fast, I'm giving myself approx 30 minutes maximum. Blerghh, btw I just ate supper. OMG. I hate my self for doing this. Seriously . I need to lose weight. Wish i was 48kg again. pfft. 

First of all, I should post a picture of myself, after so long not seeing me, bet there's a few changes ( at least ) . So, don't be fooled by the face here, You have not seen my full body posture, size, and shape! I'm as fat as a pear! D: ( is pear shape considered fat? if it is then I'm right ! ) 

So, I'm also been very sensitive at a couple of things recently. My emotions aren't that stable. And when i meant emotions , it does not mean crying, cutting, or suicide. I'm just angry, sad and most of the time annoyed at many things. Probably my parents lectures are stressing me a lot. I just can't stand too much reminder of the same topic. Blergh. 

My exam just ended one week ago. It was a three weeks straight exam. It was tiring. I even had to cut down on exercising, which i didn't liked it but I still cut down to sacrifice time for studying. I know I have to put studies as my first priority this year. People tell me to just give my all for this 5 more coming months. I AM! 

And, Today is already the weekend of my first week of holidays. I have two week of school holidays and I have already spend my first week without any studies even though I got scolded for doing so. Though I open my books, nothing actually went in my brain. Guess I was just exhausted from the studies before and during exams. My gawd, life is already tough! And This is only just the beginning. More obstacle are ahead of me. I have not even decide on what I want to do after high school! To go in A levels, to go for diploma... ect ect 

Hello?! Charmaine! * slaps self * Wake up ! You need to work hard right now! 

So many things I got to do when i get back to school. I probably be busy with Sports day by then! I have not even train well for my run yet! Urghh. Got. to . plan . time. 

Okay. Stop with the studies. My goodness. 

So, what else am i missing out? 

Ouh! I'm not sure if I should mention this here, but maybe briefly . So, I personally feel that my feelings towards the person I like comes and go all the time. I didn't mean that in one minute I like him and the other I don't. I meant that sometimes we are close but sometimes we are not. That's why I felt like we can never really get together somehow due to many reason ( 101 reasons ). Unless we try, one day, but I doubt actually. But i still hope to not doubt . 

And , I am still a girl who loves Hello Kitty! :3 Can't believe it still last in my top likings. Even rainbow colours aren't the top stuff I love anymore /: Just recently bought a new phone casing and also changed my phone screen protector . My phone looks super new! * Happy max *

Ouh. If any of you know any good  organic facial wash that can be  recommended C: please do leave a comment! C:  And If you do know anyways on how to remove or clear pimple/acne bumps , Leave a comment too! C: thanks! My face have been one of my insecurities lately ( well, apart from my body ) sigh.

I shall end with... 

 Me  being a Flower Pixie during IU day this year C: hahaha. 

Nights and ciao! ;)